Humor You JP

New one!.. Losing my license!

2006-02-27T22:37:00.000-05:00

It's been a long fuckin' time since I've blogged! I even forgot my log in name! I had to ask my boyfriend! Well, a lot has gone on. One recent thing was losing my license for for 7 months and not realize it until this past Decemeber when I went to renew it. This church lady with a "bee-hive" hairdo informed me that my license was suspended and had been since June! Like a dramatic fag, I put my hand on my chest and I gasped! "What?! Me?" I said with a big lisp.
So I continued to drive to work and back. I had to! This bitch has a careerr! (LOL) I was so scared I would get pulled over. Finally, I took defensive driving course and got my license reissued. Now I can speed and break the law on the road and not go to jail for being on it!

Madonna's Newest CD

2006-01-20T13:11:00.000-05:00

I have to say I love Madonna's new CD "Confessions on a Dancefloor!" I know some are criticizing it and it's lyrics. Her song "I Love New York" is cheesy because she says, "..why don't you "F" off...."
Now, the younger, more controvercial Madonna would have had the lyrics, "... why don't you FUCK off!...."(and naked too boot!)
As a whole, I love it! I have my favorite tracks like"Forbidden Love," "Hung Up," and "Sorry"
I'm a Madonna freak and it's hard for the bitch to go wrong!
I

Brokeback Mountain

2006-01-07T00:47:00.000-05:00

My boyfriend and I went to see "Brokeback Mountain" tonight finally with another gay couple we're friends with. It is a must see! Very well made, great acting and sad. Before we saw it, 2 of my gay friends on different occasions were seriosly like, " I can't wait to see "Bareback Mountain!"
I replied to each of them, "You mean "Brokeback Mountain, Mary!"
They said, "Oh yeah! Oops! Sorry."
Very funny. Well, go see this movie if you get the chance. Also, "King Kong" was great also! Two different movies but both great in their own way.

The holidays

2005-12-23T13:59:00.000-05:00

Well I'm finally posting a new blog! Ough! Christmas Eve is tomorrow and I still need to buy for some relatives. I just haven't been in the holiday mood. My boyfriend and I put up the tree several weeks ago and stopped there. We were going to put lights around the house but we didn't have the energy. We weren't in the the mood. I'm not depressed. We're just broke and dreading having to buy for our families! I feel awful about it. I'm waiting for 3 ghost to come visit me in the middle of the night!
The ghost of Chistmas past would show me when I was younger with more hair, thinner, and living with my wealthy family with presents up the ass in a big house! Then the ghost of Chistmas present day would show me and my boyfriend just getting by with bills, whiney demanding children (who I love) and a fat roll!
The ghost of Christmas future would show me kids that that have graduated and moved on, less hair on head, an old diabetic boyfriend and more fat! Love it!

Going Camping!

2005-10-23T23:24:00.000-05:00

My boyfriend and I are going camping this Halloween weekend. There is a gay camp site we go to see some of our friends. This weekend is gonna be particulary fun because we're bringing a drag queen/"transy." This means she (and I call 'um as I see 'um) lives as a girl. Her male identity is gone but technically, still has the big male organ! Well, you know.. A penis! Oh, and big tits to go along with it! Her name is Brandi Ice and is our friend. She is one of the funniest people I know and does a great Wonder Woman routine! I'm a independent filmmaker and her and I (along with a long list of other actors) made 7 Wonder Woman movies that are hilarios! A drag queen as Wonder Woman?! People love these movies especially at parties. They've been on a local public access television here. It's always wierd to me how many people know who we are because of these movies. I look forward to hanging out with her. She's a preformer at heart. I love her!

My Rea lEstate Class

2005-10-12T16:50:00.000-05:00

Recently, I started a Real Estate course. It's 2- 3 hour meetings per week for 9 weeks. My instructor is an older lady who seems very nice. She looks like Minnie Pearl! No shit! The first week of class, she informed us that we had homework. I gasped! I have 2 college degrees and I thought I was done with homework! Good Lord! I guess I shouldn't be so clueless. Actually it is a very involved course and I wouldn't have thought real estate was that, well, comlex. And there is math too and that is my ulimate weakness! I'm doing better with it now though. I'm dreading the state test. Ough! Well, I done bitching! I will try my best to blogger more....

This week...

2005-09-08T22:25:00.000-05:00

Well, I don't blog as much as I should. Everytime I tell my honey, "I'm going to write a blog post today!", he roll his eyes and snickers. Ough! Well, this past week, me and my honey (Scott) went to gay camping. It's a fun place for fags! The first time we went, we were shocked at the nudity! Guys naked at the pool, walking around, eating, fishing, etc.... It was wierd at first but after a while, it didn't matter anymore. Of course unlike a nudist colony, you don't have to be naked if you don't want. Like me. I like my clothes ON! Too much fat!...
After camping over Labor Day weekend, me and Scott came back to 3 kids (whom I LOVE), 2 yappy dogs, a rat, & a cat that likes to kill outdoor animals and bring them in as presents!..
I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm in love and all the rest is easy to deal with....

Gays at the Amish restaurant

2005-08-27T12:50:00.000-05:00

My Boyfriend and I went to lunch today at a local Amish restaurant. It was a buffet with "home cooked" type food. It was okay. The rolls were good. And some real Amish (well Mennonites) were at the restaurant to. Now, what do the Amish/Mennonite do when one of their own is gay? They must stay WAY back in the closet if they are HHHMM? If I were Amish or Mennonite, I would not want to help build no fucking barn! I'd be standing back filing my nails. But I would help built a new drag bar! And I would NOT want to wear those boring-ass, plain clothes! If I had to, I would add glitter!

At work the other day....

2005-08-13T10:28:00.000-05:00

I bartend part-time at a popular restaurant here in Indiana. Last week one of the server girls I'm friends with, took a table of about 8 Catholic Priests all in their black shirts and white-tipped collars. They were very nice and the server had no complaints. I automatically started thinking about all the priests in the press accused of molesting alter boys. I came up with a good idea: Why not replace all these young alter boys with older fags! Then there would no lawsuits, the blow jobs would better and they can be discreet! My friend the server agreed!

What Happened Today

2005-08-06T20:28:00.000-05:00

Today, on August 6th, my boyfriend and I drive to Indianapolis to sit-in on a travel sales company/scheme for an hour and a half of OUR time to listen to the ladies' presentation to "hook" us in so we'll buy a traveling package for a given big $ fee. For attending this, we were garrenteed airline tickets anywhere in U.S. and a $50.00 credit card just for coming. We informed her right off the bat the we were poor queers who ate out of cans and our credit is so bad, many businesses won't even accept our cash! Ha! Joke! But we did seriously tell her we were both finacially strapped at this time. This was not good news for her but she understood. She was a very gracious about it and proceeded with her sales speel for next hour. Then she wanted us to sign on the dotted line. Once again, we had t0 remind her that poverty queens signing nothing!
Why did we both? It was my boyfriend's idea and with the $50.00 gift card, we could go eat at to our favorate restaurant with that money! Great idea, I thought.
Now I'm sure many of you are going to think this is some what funny and rest of you will feel we are gay trash! But really we are great guys with big hearts. God loves you and so do I!

Me

A New Homo-Blogger

2005-08-03T18:51:00.000-05:00

My Name is Joel and I live in Indiana. I'm in a three an half year relationship with my partner. I'm a bartender getting ready to go to Real Estate school. I've made enough drinks and I need to move on. I have 2 college degrees. Woopy! I'm also an independent filmmaker. I love writing comedy. I've probably made about 20 movies so far. The best is Wonder Woman wth a local drag queen playing the superhero! Hilarious! These are premeired at a bar here and broadcast on a local TV channel here. It's wierd when complete stangers know who you are because of these movies. Well that's me today. So long!